It’s always the last leg that’s the hardest, most tiring and difficult to get through. Here I am, sitting in a cafeteria of sorts waiting for myself to strike up motivation to get done a project that I have yet to start. This is the hardest part.
In many ways, this moment in which procrastination is the most evident of verbs, I find myself lost. Currently I’m in the last leg of my degree, which like previously stated is the hardest, it’s not the classes that are hard, but it’s the motivation at which I need in order to finish. It becomes hard because the feeling after, the feeling of “what next?” Where do I go from here. I have been doing research on life after college and the only thing I have gotten from it, is that I didn’t have the typical college experience in the first place. I was supposed to live in a dorm, I was supposed to party, and have sex with many people whom of which I would never talk to again. I miss out on everything (including unwanted potential STI’s). Yes, that was a joke.
But here I am now, explaining jokes, that shouldn’t be told, and procrastinating (my best talent) and feeling like everyone else, and is it so cliche to say that I feel different. I feel like I was destined to do more than this? I think it is cliche to say that, and I think it is not like me to want to just leave after college, but I think it’s what I need.
I want to be a writer.
And when I get there, I’ll let you know, but for now I just feel like an amateur playing hardball in the minors.
The other day, a friend of mine and I were talking about celebrity best friends (this comes up quite often in my world,) and Taylor Swift came up as a possibility.
Aside from her charm and good posture, there are many reasons why Taylor Swift would make a good friend. Here is a small sample of reasons that I have come up with and that I find would make a convincing argument, if I ever had to defend this argument of friendship.
1. She talks to her fans: Many celebrities do the make a wish deal, and tweet their little fingers off, I find that Taylor makes an effort to make video of things that happen in her daily life; giving her the knack that she is down to earth, and approachable. If I ever ran in to her, I sure as shit would talk about her cat, who is super adorable, and of course that video of it playing on the couch. While this seems stalker-esque and unreasonable it does make sense to me, because if a real-life friend of mine posted a video of that it would just give me a sense of familiarity and remind me of how sweet my friends are.
2. Her hair: This point may seem a little unreasonable, but I find that if you also surround yourself with people who have nice hair, you are perceived as someone with nice hair. In addition to this, she can help you style it, this comes in handy when you are a novice like myself and find that your hair looks like birds nest daily.
3. She is always down for a chick flick, even the ones no one wants to admit they want to see. This right here is the most important reason to the definition of our fantasy friendship. We both would be willing to see the sappy movies, with the cliche comedic bits, and the kissing that is supposed to define what ‘love’ really is. Taylor and I will be able to enjoy that guilty pleasure and take pride in it. All those Nicholas Sparks movies and the one’s generally that have some underage hunk and sweet blossom of girl, can be enjoyed and openly at that rate, because I would have a friend who enjoys them without shame.
4. Dancing: Taylor loves to dance behind people. By far this is an important factor in her and I’s fake friendship. I love to dance, she loves to dance, this right here is key.
5. L&O: Taylor likes law and order, hands down, that seals the deal.
Sometimes a drastic change seems necessary, but is it ever the right one?
How can a person move with success, and find peace in there life without immense risk?
And is this how people become successful, is it always a risk that is taken, can’t anything happen with minimal damage?
And more importantly when does everything stop feeling so dependent on you?
If anyone can answer these questions, please let me know. .
Once a year, a holiday comes about were nothing is gray. Rather, everyone is entitled to one of two opinions, either, “I hate Valentine’s Day”-this is usually followed by a rant on commercialized holiday’s and blah blah blah…, OR “I love LOVE, and valentine’s is the greatest!” - usually said by one who is in a relationship of some sort.
I believe personally, that Valentine’s day is a day that people can take a look around at their surroundings, and acknowledge the little things that make them happy, very similar to thanksgiving.
I for example, love driving a little yellow car.
I love the crisp feeling of a new book,
and even more so I love the broken binding of an old one.
I love will smith, and I know this is vague, but I love the way his career has progressed, and the example he has set.
I love words, speaking, writing, and using them in new ways,
Most of all, I love acknowledging these little circumstances where you and one other person share a moment that no one can take back, I’m not talking about sex, a kiss, a look in the eye, rather I’m talking about a giggle, a small smile defined by a comment made. I love these moments shared by a best friend, a stranger, and a coworker, these are not the traditional moments that cause a string of romantic movies, rather these are moments that define a simple and small relationship, these are moments that cannot be replicated because of the delicacy of the situation.
I love, love. I am a pro-valentine’s trooper, but I am NOT in a relationship. I love having a positive sense of being and I love looking at the world from a universal point of view. I love finding beauty in the most absurd situations, and I love the concept that everything started from almost nothing.
People intrinsically have a problem with always stating their opinions. Everyone has an opinion about everything. For once, I think we should all just appreciate the beauty that has evolved around us, instead of looking at what we should or shouldn’t have to love us. I love, love.
Happy Valentine’s Day
zanahome asked: Hey there - cool blog you got going! Hope you don't mind if I use some of your content later down the road, great stuff. New follower, can you please follow me back?
Of course I don’t mind, as long as credit is given where it is due. I checked out your stuff and it looks good as well.
Happy Blogging!
A very smart manager of mine, Elizabeth once told me,
NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU
and in that moment, I brushed it off, in the last two days, a regular (who is super annoying and tips shitty anyways) decided to bring in twenty of his douche-bag friends in for his birthday, and I was supposed to be the one waiting on him, as every other table was full, he asked for another server.
Now, I know what your probably thinking, “well maybe your not very nice to him”
But I am, and I tried to play it off like I didn’t have any beef with him (seriously who gets frosted tips as a post-40 year old?) And while it was more of a relief that I didn’t have to take his table, it still kind of hurt my feelings.
This is ridiculous, I know, why do I expect someone to like me, when I don’t like them,
Following up this night I made a little more than half of what I usually make, then this morning I tried to “follow” an acquaintance from high school on twitter, and it told me he had blocked me, what a jerk! (This is after he added me on Facebook two days ago)
And once again I took it personally,
the moral of this story is
-Not as many people liked me as I thought, and
-It doesn’t matter, just like my manager said, not everybody is going to like you.
-Just be you, I know that’s cliche and cheesy, but when it comes down to it, if your trying to be something your not, then you are going to have a harder time dealing with any problem,
-and in my case, not everyone is going to like you, so take that roll with it, be nice to everybody but don’t get hurt when they are put off by you (you could take the selfish route, like I do many times and just brush it off that their jealous, ha.)
This is exactly how I am feeling about now.
Is it wrong to feed your dogs animal crackers?
I do all the time. And while I could see it being pretty weird, my dogs love them. they can’t get enough, in fact they are drooling over them right now. I’ve tried to get a picture, but it’s really hard.
Just a thought, I have been listening to that bloodhound gang song a lot lately, and watching Shameless, with that you can easily tell what has been on my mind lately, Ha.
Either way, I just have one last question, okay maybe a couple
does desperation really stink? or is it just me?
thoughts on being alone?
thoughts on having your sights set on someone, with the knowledge that it most likely will not happen?
I guess some advice would be helpful, but to be honest, I already have a feeling I know what you all would say:
“Just move one, he’s not worth it if he isn’t in to you, ” OR “you can’t change someone’s feelings” OR “have you even tried? (NO) well then go get him”
You see the problem with my situation is that I work with the guy that I am desperate to get to know. Even more so, we are both at two different places in our lives, meaning that he has more important responsibilities that just hanging out and going to school. With that, I am too smart to understand the reasons why I am most likely not (like I said, I don’t actually know if he hates me or not,) someone he would be interested in, and more so, I wish I were naive and didn’t realize this, that way I would just go for it, like so many people would suggest, rather than sit back and take in the view.
Another problem, is that I seemingly have a pretty confident demeanor, when in reality I have a low self esteem, which I need to work on myself.
So, in conclusion, I have my work set out for me.
Everybody is waiting for a moment,
The moment that emulates a career.
The moment the boy you have been infatuated with gives you the time of day.
The moment that your food finally comes at a restaurant
Its all about patience
